Grief is different for everyone. You do not need to conform to what you think it should be like.
Nothing can prepare you for the moment someone dies. You may have spend months in anticipation or it happened in an instant.
Some people slip into a coping mode and just DO all that is necessary and then think about it after the funeral.
Others collapse in a chair and cannot bring themselves to do anything they are stunned and numb.
Or you may be somewhere in the middle having moments of crying and then moments when you get busy and don’t think about your loss too much.
Men can just not think about it so they can continue to function.
At some point over the next 12 months you would benefit from talking to someone.
It is what it is. Grief is a Journey. You learn to live with the gap in your life, you may never stop loving or remembering but you learn to live without this person here with you.
Please do not make any additional big changes straight away, as you can do this in panic or reaction and regret it later. At least give yourself sometime to settle.
If you are a widow their is a widows benefit from WINZ you can get that will bring a little money in while you take time to consider what to do next.